For my research project I chose to look at the difference between female and male friendships. Throughout high school, I found it very interesting to look at how my relationships with my girlfriends differed from my twin brother Connor’s relationships with his guy friends. In general, I found that he hung out in big groups rather than one on one like me. In addition, he did not talk about his feelings etc. with his friends nearly as much as me. Instead, he spent time playing games and simply spending time with his friends. With my research, I wanted to find sources from both male and female authors that discuss friendship as well as how media portrays female versus male friendships.
Final Research Question: What are the differences between male and female relationships? Are these social stereotypes and thus are they perpetuated by social media, or are they biologically how the two sexes interact with each other?
Cloud, John. “Why Girls Have BFFs and Guy Hang Out in Packs.” Time. N.p., 17 July 2009. Web. 29 Mar. 2013.
This is an article that examines the relationships between women versus men. It describes their findings, which proved that “girls are hardwired to care about one-on-one relationships with their BFFs (best friends forever), while the brains of boys are more attuned to group dynamics and competition with other boys.” This contributes to my research on female versus male relationships because it gives biological evidence that they are and should be in fact different.
“Male Friendship vs. Female Friendship.” A Lofty Existence. WordPress, 25 July 2011. Web. 31 Mar. 2013.
This blog about male versus female friendships outlines the main ways in which the two differ regarding what they do and talk about while hanging out together. In general, the author explains how male friendships are characterized by team membership and physically doing things together, while female relationships tend to be more associated with one to one interactions and physical closeness. This contributes to the study of males versus female relationships because in addition to the author’s comments and opinions on how the two are different, many readers comment and share their opinions as well, so it provides for a very good primary source.
“Male vs. Female Friendships.” Family Guy. Fox Broadcasting Company. N.d. Television.
This video clip from family guy mocks female relationships. At first, we see two women passive aggressively complimenting each other about their physical appearances over lunch. The camera then switches to two men at a nearby table. After one man genuinely compliments the other on his tie, a background voice sings “men, we know how to be friends.” I believe this is an interesting and useful contribution to my research because it shows some peoples’ opinion that female relationships are very superficial.
Montaigne, Michel De. On Friendship. New York: Penguin, 2005. Print.
This essay written by Michel de Montaigne, written in 1580, reveals his very strong opinion on friendships. Like Cicero, Montaigne believes that true friendship can only exists between two noble men. On the other hand, Montaigne advises women to concentrate on beauty and charm rather than intellectual pursuits, for which he considers them not suited. This is an important addition to my research on male versus female relationships because it explains the semi-misogynistic opinions on friendship of some philosophers from the 16th century.
Philips, Katherine. “To Mrs. M.A. at Parting.” Seventeenth-Century British Poetry 1603-1660. 1st ed. New York: W.W. Norton &, N.Y. 662-64. Print.
Katherine Philips is one of the first woman poets. She began writing in the mid-17thcentury and was the first writer to discuss female relationships. In this poem, she resonates Cicero’s opinions on true friendship between two noble men, but is discussing two women. The speaker describes herself and her friend as “twin-souls.” This source is important to my research because it shows one of the first woman’s written opinions on female friendships.
Philips, Katherine. “To My Excellent Lucasia, on Our Friendship.” Seventeenth-Century British Poetry 1603-1660. 1st ed. New York: W.W. Norton &, N.Y. 662-64. Print.
In this poem written by Katherine Philips, one of the first woman poets of the 17thcentury, the speaker discusses her friendship with her friend Lucasia. She talks very deeply about her friendship and says how she did not live until she met her friend. I believe this text is very accurate for how people feel about true friendship. When you have a true friend, it changes you. In addition it contributes to my research because it shows how woman are much more unreserved, emotional, and candid when talking about their love for their friend.
Star, Darren. Sex and the City. Dir. Michael P. King. HBO. 1998-2004. Television.
This TV shows is about a group of female friends living in New York together. One aspect of this show that I think is very important to observe is the diversity among the groups of friends. All of the characters are extremely different but they compliment each other and are perfect friends. My favorite quote from the show that I think is very representative of how the friends feel towards each other is, “The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t, but in the end they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into, and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.” Here, Carrie is explaining how in her mind her friends are her family. This source is important because it shows how intimate and close female friendships are. The friends in the show love each other unconditionally and are always talking about and expressing these feelings.
Steinbeck, John. Of Mice and Men. New York: Penguin, 1993. Print.
Of Mice and Men is a book about two black migrant workers living in California. One of the main themes in the book is the fraternity and idealized friendship between George and Lennie. The two friends have plans to live on a farm together one day in which they will essentially be brothers. The two men desire to always live with the other in mind and always protect the other. This source is a great addition to my research because it discusses the friendship and potential brotherhood between two men in a very tough situation.
“‘You Could Never Understand This.’” Scrubs. ABC. N.d. YouTube. Web. 01 Apr. 2013. Transcript.
This video from the show Scrubs examines how females versus males handle fights. The dialogue between Turk and Carla reveals how some women struggle to actually apologize and share their true feelings and regrets when they are arguing with a friend, and therefore, their fights last longer. Some men, on the other hand, are able to say, “I’m sorry” and actually recognize what they did wrong. As a result, men do not hold grudges and able to move on. Although this source may not be accurate for all men and women, it is one opinion that exists in the world and I find it very interesting.
